Trauma often messes with one’s ability to say “no”.
You either consciously or subconsciously think, “I don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings” or “If I say no, then they’ll hurt me” or “It won’t really be that bad” or “I can handle this” or “I need to do this to prove myself” or “I deserve this”, or you forget that “no” is even an option.
It’s still not your fault if you didn’t say “no”, even if you think maybe you could have. It’s still not your fault. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and you didn’t bring it upon yourself. It was never your fault.
thats the thing about time, no amout is ever enough. you always want another day, or another week or even another entire year. and the worse part is you don’t understand the importance of time unless it’s already running out and you feel like chasing it. thats the thing about time. ask someone whose been diagnosed with cancer or is waiting for months to meet their loved ones or is away at war. ask them because they understand time better than we do, we who have it in abundance. thats the thing about time, its hard to understand and even harder to appreciate when you have it. i wish i had more time with you, more time to make more memories. thats the thing about time, its always running out.
time//nikitagupta
